Please Eggsplain
This was going to be a post about egg salad.
(Source)
Pause for egg salad movie quote:
“God, Friday, when I went home, I really wanted an egg-salad sandwich. And I was just obsessing about it and I was like: ‘Man, I’m gonna make one of those.’ So-so, Saturday I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and I boiled them all and then I just I-I spent, I don’t know, probably three hours… like three and a half hours making you know, the mayonnaise and the onions and paprika and, you know, all the accoutrement. And then by the time I was done I just really didn’t feel like eating it.”
Gosh, I love 40-Year-Old Virgin. But anyways, that’s not what happened.
What did happen was that I apparently don’t know how to hardboil or peel an egg.
I thought I did.
- Cover eggs with water
- Bring to a boil
- Remove from heat and let sit 10 minutes
- Transfer to a bowl of ice water
- Crack
- Peel Make lame attempt at peeling
I ended up with eggs that clearly weren’t cooked and I managed to peel half the egg along with the shell.
Someone please explain how to do these two things. I need help.
In other more successful news, I made the best thing ever.
Blend equal parts almond butter and vanilla almond milk with some cinnamon and a drizzle of maple syrup and resist the urge to just drink the entire batch.
Note: Joey is asking me if I want to trade a taste of almond butter sauce for a bite of the Laffy Taffy he just stuck grape Nerds to. No, Joey, I really don’t. He’s out of control.
Note #2: I just fell out of my chair at the same time I was feeding a spoonful of almond butter sauce to a closed eye Joey. I’m out of control too.
Warning: Have a dipping utensil, aka celery, ready immediately or you really will be tempted to just drink this.
At least I can complete simple food tasks like blending nut butter and milk, right?
Have you botched any “simple” tasks lately?
An Unusual Combo
I’ve mentioned how I waver back and forth between loving and hating fearing tofu. Right now, I’m coming back from a fearing stage.
I just bought a giant block (Denver Tofu doesn’t mess around!) and told myself it wasn’t a big deal to eat it because “it’s not like I plan on eating it 5 more times this week.”
That was before I tried this sandwich. Jess you’re a genius.
Bread
Crunchy peanut butter
Jelly
Normal so far, right?
Tofu
BBQ seasoning
Did I lose you? Stick with me. Please.
When you don’t have BBQ seasoning make your own!
- Pepper
- Paprika
- Garlic Powder
- Chili Powder
- Cumin
- Salt
Yes, I do need to list those ingredients out like you can’t clearly see the labels by yourself. What would you do without me?
Brush ‘fu with olive oil and coat in seasoning.
This is when I stopped following the directions and opted to bake my tofu instead of pan-frying it. I’m such a rebel.
Slice open a ciabatta roll (because you purchased an entire bag full from WF on a whim) and toast in the oven. You know, while it’s already on and all.
And because I was already not following directions, I might as well use cranberry blueberry jelly like Jess advised not to do.
Top with baked BBQ tofu.
Taste test.
Verdict: Awesome.
Yeah, that part about not eating this multiple times in a week? I take that back.
Are you brave enough to try this sandwich?
What’s the weirdest food combo you’ve ever tried?
I Feel the Need
For greens.
That rhymes, right? It’s a slant rhyme. I think? That’s something an English major should know.
Anyways, the point is in the past 10 days I’ve consumed way more fried foods, sugar and meat than normal and my body noticed. Surprise surprise.
Let’s get two things straight:
1. I don’t regret eating any of that good-tasting-but-not-so-good-for-you food while I was on vacation, but…
2. I can’t say I felt like a million bucks while doing it.
And maybe that never ending headache had more to do with sleeping on an air mattress than with eating fried chicken, but I’m more than ready to get back to eating like a normally do.
This means…
Buckwheat bakes.
With cherries.
And homemade granola.
And hazelnut butter.
Or with a drizzle of almond milk and almond butter sauce (more on that at a later date).
Soup.
With carrots.
And apples.
And fresh ginger.
Salad.
With tempeh “croutons.”
And really, I don’t care what’s in it, as long as it’s fresh and not fried.
What foods do you crave most when you’re on vacation?
Usually I can’t stop thinking about hummus and raw veggies. Or just veggies in general!
Lauren Loves Good Food 