Lauren Loves Good Food

May I preface this post by saying that I originally wrote it a few days ago when I was in a not-so-optimistic mood?  In other words, it’s not a reflection of my mood today, which is actually pretty darn good   Regardless, I still felt like sharing what I wrote.

In all honesty, regardless of how I may come off in writing, I’m not always so sure of myself.

I’m embarking on a new phase in my life.  The “I graduated college and have to be an adult” phase.  Some aspects of this phase certainly sound appealing, like the no homework, no studying, no class presentations part, but other aspects don’t sound quite as fun.  What do you mean I don’t get summers off anymore??

In other words, I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis at the moment.  I’ve been “the good student” for so long now that I’m having a hard time adjusting now that I’m not a student at all. 

To be honest, I’ve been struggling with this for a while.  Pretty much since I started my senior year and the “So what are your plans after graduation?” question started being asked.  And asked a lot.  My answer?  I have no clue.  And please don’t ask if I’m going to be a teacher.  Apparently teaching is the only career you can get into with an English degree.  I assure you this isn’t true.  And really it wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to do after graduation, it was that I wanted to do nothing.  “Nothing?  What do you mean you wanted to do nothing?  You can’t do nothing.”  Such was the response I received.  I guess I should have clarified my definition of nothing. 

Nothing:

• Having a job that’s fun and pays the bills but most definitely isn’t a career.
• Taking life a little lot less seriously.
• Having free time to do the things I enjoy most, i.e. reading, writing, cooking/baking, leisurely running, developing my photography “skills,” hiking, eating tasty food.  In other words living a stress free reduced (who am I kidding, I’ll never be stress free, I get stressed trying to decide what to top my oatmeal with!) life.

Despite the fact that lots of people have assured me that there’s nothing wrong with that plan, for some reason I feel unsure about it. 

In all honesty, I did find a job that fits into my aforementioned plan.  Problem is, when people ask me if I found a job yet I feel uneasy revealing what it is.  I feel this immense pressure as a college graduate to have a “worthy” job, something that reflects the 4 years of hard work I put in.  I think this pressure is partly my doing.  I’ve always had high expectations for myself.  Sigh, my wants and my expectations are really at odds right now.

Sorry for such a weighty post, but I just wanted to be honest and admit that everything is not all rainbows and butterflies over here on Isle de Lauren.  Plus I can always rely on you all for some sound advice/comforting comments

Have you ever felt lost or pressured to do something that you didn’t really want to do?

P.S. I will now return to writing about happier things, like the recipes, restaurant reviews and race recaps I promised.  Is it just a coincidence that all of those things happen to begin with the letter R?

Happy Tuesday!