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A Kale Horror Story

July 3, 2011

Hello, friends.  I hope you’re all out enjoying this holiday weekend and not inside reading blog posts.  Except maybe this one.  I’ll keep it short, I promise.

Joey and I visited no less than 7 apartment complexes yesterday hoping to find somewhere to move.  I think we found a winner but I’ll fill you in on the details when we know more.

But enough about apartments.  Let’s talk about kale.

This salad looks good doesn’t it?

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Last weekend, Joey and I picked up some kale at the FM.  Upon first seeing it, I exclaimed “Ew, it’s covered in cobweb!” to which Joey assured me it was “no big deal” and we could “just wash it off.”

Fast forward to Wednesday when I spent at least half an hour detangling cobweb or cotton or something gross from my kale.

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And then another 15 minutes pulling strands of cottonweb (yeah, I did just make up a new word) from the salad as I tried to toss it.

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And yet another half an hour of de-cottonwebbing while I attempted to eat this salad at work. 

Thank goodness no one was watching.  Or at least I hope they weren’t.

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I’m mostly bummed because this salad had the makings of a masterpiece.

  • Raisins
  • Cashews (subbed for walnuts)
  • Sesame seeds (subbed for hemp seeds)
  • Celery (subbed for carrots)
  • Tahini-lemon dressing
  • Bell pepper
  • Tomatoes
  • Cucumbers (don’t even get me started on the bitter cucumbers that I also picked out)

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And because it looked great.

And mostly I’m bummed because I don’t think I can ever eat kale again.

At least not for a while.

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Have you ever had a bad experience that turned you off of a certain food?  I still cringe when I think of drinking gazpacho out of a Styrofoam cup in the 4th grade.  I’ve hated it every since. 

What are your 4th of July plans/how was your Canada Day (for my Canadian readers out there :))?  Despite the fact that it’s been rainy and uneventful for as long as I can remember, I always get excited for the 4th of July.  I think it has something to do with my birthday being so close behind it!

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. July 3, 2011 5:15 PM

    ew..that’s got me cringing! cobwebs? cottonweb? what the…kale?!
    such a bummer! i love where your thought process was at with it, though – everything put into it sounds like it would all be awesome together. just a bummer about the cobwebbyness :[

    also – congrats on the move! i missed your last post so when I saw that I was like “man, I miss one post and I miss major life changes!” and then quickly read up, lol. i hope the one you like works out for you 🙂

  2. July 3, 2011 5:57 PM

    Um. I will never eat Cold Stone cake batter ice cream again. While depressed at boarding school, my room mate and I sat on the floor, spoons in hand, with a half gallon of the creamy stuff between us and ate it. Ate it all.

  3. July 4, 2011 7:06 AM

    Argh isn’t apartment shopping such a pain? I’m kinda, sorta in the middle of something similar myself, and it’s just so tiring -,- I hope you find (found) a good place 😀

    The only bad food experience I can think of at the moment involves zucchini and eggplant… They always came out incredibly soggy and nasty whenever I tried them, so I don’t even bother anymore… Just the thought gives me heebie-jeebies.

  4. Katherine permalink
    July 4, 2011 1:30 PM

    One time I found a worm in my fresh broccoli (out of the garden). I still get a little queasy with broccoli. I definitely check it OCD like!

  5. July 4, 2011 1:43 PM

    I’ve never tried Kale but now I don’t know if I even want to! lol

  6. jessgobananas permalink
    July 4, 2011 6:38 PM

    Kale is always tricky-even buying it at the supermarket! It took me about an hour one time to wash it just to put it in a soup! The whole time you were explaining the kale I was thinking to myself-well it looks good- only to hear you mention that at the end! lol

  7. Rach permalink
    July 4, 2011 9:11 PM

    AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH no kale is delicious!
    Try washing a head, take away the stems, and sauteing it with a little bit of oil, red wine vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper.
    Or wash a head, take away the stems, cut it into thin ribbons, put it in a big bowl, top with 1 T oil, juice from 1 lime, salt and pepper, and massage the leaves with your hands.
    Some people like kale chips, but I find the texture odd. You could try it though. Wash, de-stem, lightly coat with a little bit of EVOO, and roast in the oven.
    I love adding kale in my green smoothies! You hardly even notice it’s there, but you still get great nutrition.
    You can also buy kale already washed and cut in bags at the grocery store.

  8. July 4, 2011 10:16 PM

    Ewwww….that’s gross. Kale has never been my favorite, and I don’t think I could ever handle it again if I encountered a bunch with cottonweb junk on it. Blech! My 4th of July was spent in the ever charming Santa Fe, NM. I think if one place was to ever steal me away from my beloved Colorado, it would be Santa Fe. I’m in love with everything about that town. 🙂

  9. July 5, 2011 12:51 AM

    Nooooooo Lauren say it isn’t so! You can eat kale again! LOL I can’t believe that Joey would just say to just wash it off! Gross haha!
    Canada was spent watching fireworks!

  10. melissa permalink
    July 5, 2011 10:41 AM

    You are such a trooper, I am pretty sure I would have tossed the kale after about 2 minutes of trying to clean it (or probably not have bought it at all)!
    I hope the weather cleared up later on for you guys to celebrate the 4th, especially if you were planning on seeing fireworks!

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